He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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