is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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