After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
