'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Your cock deserves a montage
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
