I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
