I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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