I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
