Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Of course I have a pirate flag
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
