there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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