apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
