Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
