At least make sure they are 18
Why
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
