I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
