We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
