hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
