Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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