You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
