She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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