When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize