No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize