Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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