he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
