I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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