Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
