so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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