just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize