We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
