Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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