so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
