youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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