Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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