I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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