zippers are such a cool invention
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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