I'm really into asian looking animals
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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