Ambien. No doubt about it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
