Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
