Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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