just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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