If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
