Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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