Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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