with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My dick has a subreddit
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
