i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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