Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.

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(720): I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare. http://tfl.nu/5d0o

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(251): View more from Alabama

Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?

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(251): Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl? http://tfl.nu/mkwq

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(613): View more from Ontario

Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.

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(613): Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing. http://tfl.nu/hxx0

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(937): View more from Ohio

he is so annoying

(513): View more from Ohio

so stop sleeping with him

(937): View more from Ohio

yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk

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(937): he is so annoying (513): so stop sleeping with him (937): yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk http://tfl.nu/y8qk

Replies (25) Good night (5092) Bad night (1124)
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(812): View more from Indiana

i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.

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(812): i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy. http://tfl.nu/2x1u

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(518): View more from New York

my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks

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(518): my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks http://tfl.nu/8135

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(231): View more from Michigan

Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.

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(231): Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail. http://tfl.nu/n6cf

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(551): View more from New Jersey

The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.

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(551): The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet. http://tfl.nu/8f2g

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?

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(402): I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category? http://tfl.nu/je1r

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.

(404): View more from Georgia

Everyone is cheering

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(404): Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire. (404): Everyone is cheering http://tfl.nu/wh9k

Replies (4) Good night (1868) Bad night (552)
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(712): View more from Iowa

He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.

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(712): He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge. http://tfl.nu/wcqn

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.

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(412): I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause. http://tfl.nu/76t1

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.

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(215): It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life. http://tfl.nu/9g4v

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(303): View more from Colorado

WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?

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(303): WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING? http://tfl.nu/q4gt

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(251): View more from Alabama

Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.

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(251): Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile. http://tfl.nu/y0n1

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