i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.