you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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