If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is