You're so nebulous sometimes
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition