She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
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We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf