that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
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I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
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I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list