Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
