someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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