they need to just BURY HIM!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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