He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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