Yo dont text me then not text me
kristin has been a bad kristin
they need to just BURY HIM!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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