Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize