This is not my ceiling
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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