He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Who died my cat blue again?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
