billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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