he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
