Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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