I wannas sexs uuuuu
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
