Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
