accomplished twins. life is a go
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you had me at cake vodka
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
