U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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