Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
