Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
