the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
