I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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